Erin

Last summer, somewhere off the coast of Hatteras, South Carolina, I sat in a speedboat.  My hair waved wildly in the whipping sea breeze, and the sun gently warmed my skin.  It was the middle of summer, but my skin still lacked the warm tanned glow of everyone elses.  The downside of having skin cancer genes in the family.  I was never allowed outside unless i had doused my self in 5o SPF sunblock.  Or higher.  There’s actually 100 SPF.  I’m not joking, it sits quietly in my mom’s bathroom cabnet, waiting to make sure i don’t get the slightest bit tan. Grrrrrr…..anyway, i was sitting in this speed boat with me, my little brother Kyle, my cousins Travis, Dana, Jared, and Ginny, and the two teenagers/young adults who ran the boat.  We were going to go parasailing!  Every year my mom’s side of the family get together for a vacation, and this year we rented a beach house for a week.  My little brother, who by no stretch of the imagination is a daredevil, announced he wanted to go parasailing.  Our whole family was game and interested, so we set up a time and here we were.  It felt amazing to be in the middle of the ocean(or was it the bay?  I dont remember.  Really the bay is still technically the ocean in my oppinion) with the salty sea breeze, watercolor blue sky, and clouds that looked like the lonely pieces of cotton candy that get stuck in the bottom of the cone.  Minus the pink.  Green-blue waves bounced around contently, and i honestly wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else.  My stomach had a few butterflies, (i mean who isn’t just a little bit nervous to get hooked up to a parachute on the back of a boat and get carried off by the wind?) but i was mostly just excited.  Finally the boat slowed and eventually stopped, and the slightly sunburned dude who had been driving the boat hooked up me, my little brother, and my cousin Travis to a harness thing that was conncected to a string (seriously it was a string, not a rope.  It wasn’t any thicker than my finger) that was connected to the parachute.  We were going to go first.  I was the one who got hooked up first, and by myself, nearly blew away without the others.  Quickly we were all harnessed together, and away we flew!

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All of a sudden im feeling a lot like Dorothy

im not in kansas anymore

a storm brought me here, out of the blue

And now everythings different

Unfortunately my yellow brick road doesn’t appear to lead anywhere,

And my witches, figurative and literal, aren’t dead,

I know my Glenda isn’t far away, but i can’t seem to find her

The colors are so vivid, sometimes they blind me,

Inside I long for my old black and white

You amnesia cuts like knives

And my heart is bursting at the seams

I might just need a new one

And some new courage and brains wouldn’t hurt either

I’d cry, but my tears are all used up

Jabs from every angle,

but i’ve gotten used to the scrapes

they’re only revealing a deeper piece of me

I just put on a bandaid covered in smiles,

and no one can ever tell

I have my ruby slippers

but right now all they’re doing is making my feet sore

All that glitters isn’t gold

So many wizards have proved disapointments

Some even dissinigrating in my hands

Now they’re dust on the wind

No one will ever stand firm on them

Theres one wizard that is a rock

And that is what saves me daily

Somewhere over the rainbow

Now its just a dream

But someday i hope it will solidify

And everything will come rushing back to me

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There it goes, you can hardly see it anymore

If you look over your shoulder, you can glimpse the retreating figure

For some its brighter, for some it’s gotten dimmer

For everyone, it makes you think deeper

I wave goodbye

And wipe my eye

Make sure I keep it close, even as it races away,

Its a building block

There goes the speeding clock

Forever please don’t take it away

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im sitting here in the library, trying to come up with something to put here, but its really loud, and i don’t know what to say.

You know that little kid book thats like brown bear brown bear what do you see? i just decided i’ll do a version of that except about the library:

pink shirt librarian, pink shirt librarian what do you see?

I see a study group looking at me.

Study group, study group, what do you see?

I see a paper mache bumble bee thing with tentacles staring at me.

Paper mache bumble beething with tentacles, paper mache bumble bee thing with tentacles what do you see?

I see a snowman poster looking at me.

Snowman poster, snow man poster, what do you see?

I see the library dragon looking at me.

Library dragon, library dragon, what do you see?

I see, a pink shirt librarian, a study group, a paper mache bumble bee thing with tentacles, and a snow man poster looking at me

Sorry if i wasted your time having you read this

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I’m sitting in class, suuuppperrrr bored

Eventually the teacher’s words melt together and i don’t even hear what they’re saying

The inky blackness of space stretches all around me, and silence hovers like a thick veil

I’m by myself, though not really, on the rusty sands of mars

Stars are closer to my grasp

The desolate landscape brimming with adventure and discovery

This fantasy drips away, and im now gliding down a sparkling mountain, blanketed with snow

Flakes dance in front of my face, and evergreens, clothed in their glittering white winter finery, whir by

Suddenly I’m on the beach, bright turquoise waves bounce lazily, and white sand chases itself up and down a stretch of land bordered on one side by the sea, and on the other a rustling rain forest

The sun  shimmers down warmth, and a light breeze swirls by

I would never leave this dream, except all of a sudden I’m back in my desk,

Air conditioning too cold, pencil not sharpened, and an expectant look on the teacher’s face, waiting for my answer

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Sticky lizards, known as salamanders,

Sitting in the air, taking youth for granted,

Salty air, icy sea, sticky sunblock suffocating me,

Distorted sensations,

Dogs run amuck,

Taking chances, succeeding with luck,

Greedy beauty, enveloped in a cool rainbow,

Gobbling sticky sweets, putting on quite a show,

Sticks with carvings that surpassed understanding,

Tears cried in quiet, a relationship just emerging,

Tiny, disgusting civilizations,

Hours of jumping, shaking, and climbing, but by the end we’re not even sweating,

Sweet clouds of maturity,

Glitter, glitter, and more glitter, rolling all over me,

Cool evenings lit by starlight,

A circle of fire, uniting a bigger circle , a heart warming sight

Whispering to me,

These are my memories

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The same thing can be felt very different ways:

“Yikes! Is that ghost?  It could be the sweater I threw on the floor but wait!

A creak! Must be a burglar!   A murderer!  A kidnapper!  A ninja! Im dead, im dead, im dead, Why is it so dark!  I can’t

see, if a bad guy comes in here I won’t be able to see him, just like that one movie, oh my gosh im sweating like crazy,

Why can’t it be morning yet, these blankets are all messed up, I can’t move, Another creak! im dead, im dead, im dead,

3:04? Really!  I checked what feels like five hours ago and it was 3:03, its only 3:04, Would my parents be mad if i ran

in their room? Yes, i’d get in so much trouble, but wouldn ‘t they be happy if i ran in there and avoided being killed

whoever i hear downstairs creaking?!  I can’t go back to sleep, in case i have that nightmare again, but maybe then if im

asleep the burglar will steal my stuff! But then if im awake maybe he’ll kill me!  Still 3:04? Really! 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 ” Awwww….. its so nice and dark, the sheets are so soft, Its so quiet, im so tired, yyyyyyyawwwwwwnnn that creak must be the cat……ohh im so tired, i think i’ll close my eyes and maybe listen to some musi……..hhhmmmmm

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Mysterious footprints

that lead away from the crime scene

Suspects that bubble with anger and  hot steam

Fingerprints found on shards of glass

Strange bottled poisons, toxic gas

Threatening messages, scrawled in messy script

Ideas that all seem to finally fit

Then there’s confrontations and high speed car chases

Dangerous cover-ups, and moonlight races

Eventually the bad guy is defeated at last,

The end of the story, wow that was fast!

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I have late night concerts,

but its only me, wrapped up in my thoughts,

the darkness of the night has a unique beauty

I’m left to decipher,

the lyrics that play in my heart and head,

When I give up finding meaning,

And exit the labrynth of reasoning,

I’m found finally asleep in bed

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I’m still trembling,

I’m still wishing

I’m still wondering,

I’m still so glad the bridge is starting to rebuild

There’s the future,

where anything can happen,

there’s still doubts,

but it might be coming back together

1 Comment | In: Musings | | #